Needed Distractions
by Aris1013
Summary: Stiles had been dealing with what the Nogitsune did. He had to keep himself busy, keep himself focused. Right now he had to help Scott save Derek. Set during 4x01.
1. Distractions

What were they doing in Mexico? This plan was insane, Lydia had that much right. Messing with hunters was dangerous, and yeah, they could die with this plan. When Scott called Stiles the week before, he was thankful. He had not spoken much to the others after the Nogitsune. He tried, but it was hard. He had thrown himself into helping Malia. By helping her, he was helping himself. He had to stay busy, he needed to stay focused on anything accept for what had happened. So when Scott needed his help again, he could not have been happier for the distraction. Scott needed him, Derek needed him, and he would be there one hundred percent.

He had been doing well since the Nogitsune. Over the last few weeks there were fewer nightmares, less panic attacks. Of course his medication had come a long way since his Adderall. The anti-anxiety and anti-depressants helped take the edge off, but he hated the sleeping pills. He tried to avoid them as much as possible, only taking them when his dad made him.

Now, though, Stiles did not have time to think about what had happened to him before. He did not have time to think about everything he did. He had to help Scott; that was what he was here to do. After he and Lydia showed the men at the front door the card the door opened and they were in a long hallway. It was quiet, and when Stiles saw the dark door at the end, he could not help but feel a familiar dream-like feeling.

"_When is a door not a door?"_

The riddle echoed through his mind. He felt like the walls were shrinking in and the door was going to consume him. It had to be opened. Stiles had to open that door, but he was terrified to see what lay behind it. He did not want to wake up screaming again, that had to be over, it had to be done.

Panic rose up as he stepped closer to the door. The walls shook as Stiles held out his hand to push it open. A small relief rushed though him as he saw the party in full swing on the other side. He shut the door, but the anxiety of their plan was still bubbling inside him. He needed a distraction again, anything. They sat at the bar and the bartender put two drinks in front of him and Lydia; that was enough to snap Stiles back to the mission. He was back on track. No more memories, they needed to save Derek.

And just when his mind was back on what he was there to do, Calavera had to remind him of what he did. Of course the hunters knew everything. She knew where that money came from. He could not remember taking it. He could not remember anything he had done to Silver Finger. They said it was a shrapnel bomb, just like all the others…stay on track Stiles. Save Derek.

He did well for the rest of the night, the hunters locking them up and torturing his friends was enough to keep Stile's mind off of everything. That was until Scott gave him that look, he did not mind it, but it would always remind him of what happened. It was the look that if he left, Stiles would crumble, and no one would be there to pick up the pieces. Scott had to go with Braeden alone, and he did not want to leave his brother. Stiles did not want him to go either, he did not want anything happening, but they didn't have a choice. They had to save Derek.

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Scott did not want to leave them out there. He did not want to leave Stiles out there. He made a pact with Stiles that from now on they would stick together. No more going off on his own; no more ways to let anything else in. They would protect each other. He constantly worried something would happen to his best friend again. He did not want anything to happen to Stiles, to any of them, but he had to save Derek. He had to go without them.

Stiles was still dealing, he always would. He was still pale, and occasionally in pain. He tried to hide it, but Scott could tell. Every now and then he would see a twinge in Stiles, his body went through a lot during his possession, but Scott saw him trying to keep it together. Scott knew Stiles was keeping busy. He had turned Malia into a project, rehabilitating her back to society. Scott was not sure if that was a good or bad thing, but Stiles was working through it. Stiles always ignored things until they went away, but this was something he could not ignore. Scott was waiting for Stiles to break down, he hadn't yet, and if he did, Scott would be there. Like always. But for now he had to keep his mind focused, he had to stop Kate. He had to save Derek.

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**AN: Thank you so much for reading! This was just a random idea I had after watching this episode. Hope you all enjoyed! **


	2. The Breakdown

**AN: Thank you to YesteryearsGirl and Shadow-wolf78 for showing an interesting in this story! Per their request I am extending this to a second chapter! Thank you again! **

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Stiles was not sure what set it off. It was everything and nothing. He was constantly reminded of the carnage the Nogitsune left behind, be he had been dealing. He was keeping busy. Stiles helped Scott; they had saved Derek. After that he was trying to jump into anything that could need their help. He needed to stay focused on something else. Scott, however, was trying to only get involved when absolutely necessary.

Malia had also been adjusting more. She still had a long way to go, but she was beginning to need Stiles' help less and less. Of course he was happy about that, but his distractions were going away. One night in particular Stiles could not sleep. He was afraid. He hoped this would be a night Malia would crawl through his window and hold him, protect him, but she never came. So he left.

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Scott was asleep when he got the call. When he saw the time and who was calling, his mind flooded back to that night. The night that really started it all for him. Panic rushed through him as he jumped out of bed and answered the phone.

"Stiles? What is it? What's wrong?" Scott could hear Stiles' choppy breathing.

"Scott? I-" He was crying.

"Stiles, where are you? Talk to me please!" Scott was already dressed and heading out the door.

"I don't know why I came here."

"Where? Stiles, where are you?" He stopped in front of his bike.

There was a deep breath. "The Nemeton."

_What?_ "Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah, I'm not asleep this time. All ten fingers are accounted for."

"Okay, just stay there, don't move. I'll be right there."

"Okay."

Scott hung up, started his bike, and went straight to the woods. He didn't like this one bit. What if Stiles was possessed again? Or, what if the Nogitsune never left? When Scott got to the edge of the woods he abandoned his bike and ran to the stump in the woods. This night was bringing back too many bad memories. When he got to the Nemeton, Stiles was sitting on it, reminding him too much of when he saw Stiles playing Go in his own mind. Scott cautiously stepped up to his best friend.

"Stiles?"

Stiles didn't look, but his breath hitched at the sound of Scott's voice. "So many people. They're all dead, and it's my fault."

Scott walked around Stiles so he could face him. "It's not your fault. You had no control."

"I let it in." Their eyes met.

Scott had been waiting for this a long time, he just wish it happened in one of their houses, not on the thing that started it all. "You didn't have a choice."

"I should have been stronger. I should have tried harder." Tears fell from his eyes.

Scott sat down next to him. "You survived being possessed. That makes the strongest person I know. It got in your mind Stiles, you couldn't help it."

"I remember everything I did. Even after the split, I couldn't see everything it did, but I could feel it. I could feel Allison, and Aiden; those people at the hospital, everything that happened. I knew."

Hearing Allison's name always hit a sore spot, but Scott needed to stay strong. "But you had no control over it. It wanted the pain, your pain, everyone's pain."

"That's not all Scott. I don't just remember the way it felt...I liked it."

Scott was taken back for a moment. "What?"

Stiles looked down at his hands. "The pain, the way it felt. It was like energy coursing through me. I-I was so strong. I've never been strong, or calm, or in control. It felt good. He had every move planned, always a step ahead." His face grew dark. "You know why that was, Scott? I started helping."

"Stiles, stop." Scott didn't want to hear this.

"No, Scott, I helped it. The chess board in my room was my idea, getting Derek in the mix, leading everyone on a wild goose chase. I wanted to go up against him, and everyone. I still dream about those moments and part of me goes back there, part of me wants-"

"Stiles! Shut up!" Scott didn't like this, Stiles was scaring him. Anger flooded his eyes. "Did you want the Nogitsune to kill your dad?"

Stiles looked up with wide eyes. "No-"

"Did you want it to kill any of us?"

"No, but-"

"Did you want to see your family suffer, did you want to kill Allison?"

"No."

"Do you want to see anyone hurt now? If you could be strong like that again, would kill someone for fun?"

Stiles cried again, harder this time. He couldn't speak. Of course he didn't want to hurt anyone. He shook his head.

Scott calmed. "Okay. The Nogitsune had a hold on you Stiles. It put thoughts in your head. It messed with you, trapped you, hurt you. Even if you liked it, even if you helped, that doesn't make you bad. That doesn't make you like him. You fought the whole time. Just because it manipulated you doesn't mean any of it was your fault." He grabbed Stiles shoulders. "Never think that."

Stiles could not stop crying, and Scott pulled him into a hug.

"It's just been so hard. I've been trying to forget, but everything reminds me. I'm so tired of being scared. I just wanna forget."

"Shhh…I know." Scott rocked him a bit.

"Every time I go into the hospital I wonder if one of the nurses or doctors will recognize me, give me that same terrified look my dad gives me; the same one as your mom, like I'm going to do something again. I don't deserve to be here, Scott. I should have died, I should be locked up."

"No, you shouldn't have. Stiles we don't blame you. It tricked us before, so our parents are just worried after seeing you like that. It's not your fault. It's hard I know, but you'll get better. They won't always give that look, and you'll be able to go anywhere without worrying what that thing left behind. It's going to be okay, Stiles. You're going to be okay."

Stiles pulled away and sniffed. "How can you just forgive me, you act like nothing happened."

"You're my brother, that's never going to change. If you did all that yourself, I'd still care about you. I'd still protect you. And if this was turned the other way around, I think you'd be the same. You wouldn't blame me, because you'd know it wasn't my fault."

Stiles took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

Scott shook his head. "Don't be. Now come on. I don't know about you, but I hate this place."

Stiles smiled a little, and followed Scott out of the woods. "Thanks."

Scott nodded and led him home.

Life would never stop being hard for Stiles, but with Scott there it made it a little easier. Stiles would always have Scott to catch him when he fell, because that was what family was for.

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**AN: Thank you so much for reading! Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Unless anyone has ideas, or a want for this to continue then this will be the last chapter. Thank you again so much! **


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